The adolescent years are difficult for many parents and guardians to get through without professional teen behavioural care. Fortunately, in Canada and other countries, it’s easy to access care like this, especially these days when puberty begins earlier, and children leave home permanently later than in any previous generation. Parents and guardians these days spend more time than their counterparts in the past navigating challenges that arise as their children become teens and eventually adults.
On top of stressors that may occur as teenagers find their independence, parents and guardians are often exhausted from extended family needs, household responsibilities, parenting obligations, and work. At this point, a teen not respecting parents may trigger negative emotions from parents and guardians and may significantly harm their closest family relationships. If you are searching for teen behavioural care in Canada, reach out to Venture Academy today by calling 866.762.2211 or contacting our team online.
Why Is Respect for Parents Essential?
Respect for parents is essential because it is the foundation of healthy communication and interaction between a child and their parents. In many cases, a teen not respecting parents simply mirrors the disrespect shown to them by other family members or even their parents.
Parents and guardians must have many types of interactions with their teens. You teach and discipline them, remind them of family expectations, and guide them in developing proper social behaviours. In doing these things, many treat their children respectfully and therefore build their children’s sense of value in themselves and others.
Teens disrespecting parents are often not raised in respectful environments or have been experiencing disrespectful behaviours from someone. Teens raised in respectful environments learn these important traits:
- Attention and patience
- Authentic humility
- Boundaries and assertiveness
- Forgiveness and grace
What Are the Signs That a Teen Does Not Respect Their Parents?
1. Your Teen Doesn’t Recognize Your Efforts.
Parents who feel they’re not getting the respect they deserve, ask yourselves: “Do I feel appreciated?” Disrespectful teens ignore the work you’ve put into something and may even take credit for your efforts and successes. Even as a parent, you have value as a person that should be obvious to your teen. You deserve to be recognized for your contributions to your family’s continued existence.
2. Your Teen Doesn’t Follow Through.
Teens disrespecting parents often make promises they don’t intend to keep. Sometimes, your teen can get swamped with schoolwork or social engagements; this can result in them flaking on you and prioritizing other relationships. However, if they repeatedly flake on you, it can hurt. Not following through might be a sign that they don’t value your time or relationship enough.
3. Your Teen Doesn’t Give You Their Full Attention.
This sign is easy to spot, especially these days. If your teen doesn’t even look up from their device, whether it’s their phone, handheld console, or gaming system, it’s a problem. Remind them that multitasking doesn’t work, especially if communicating is involved. Just listening is not enough. Remind them to make eye contact with you when you’re in conversation.
4. Your Teen Doesn’t Respect Your Boundaries.
Respectful teens listen when you say “no.” Disrespectful teens may push your boundaries in small ways, like not being home for dinner even though you’ve said “no” to them staying out late. They may even further disrespect your boundaries by taking your car or using your credit card without permission.
5. Your Teen Puts You Down.
While not typical at all in many teen-parent relationships, part of disrespect is doing it outright. Your teen may put you down by being dismissive about your passions, whether it’s work-related or a new hobby you’ve picked up. They may call the music or TV shows you like corny or insult your intelligence by calling them bland or unimaginative. They may refuse to eat food you cook because they don’t trust your culinary skills. Overall, look out for insults and demeaning language.
When Should Professional Help Be Considered for Teens Disrespecting Their Parents?
Adolescent moods can change from moment to moment. Parents not getting the respect they feel they deserve may react to those moods by looking for ways to always make their teens happy. However, this is not how professionals recommend dealing with your teen’s mood swings.
Parents who focus on their teen’s happiness end up defending themselves most of the time while trying to get their teens to see the logic in the decisions they make for their happiness. They may even shame their teen if they express uncomfortable emotions relating to those decisions. For example, a parent who works overtime night shifts to afford better clothes for their teen may react poorly to their child complaining about never having home-cooked dinners anymore. The teen may not even intend to be disrespectful with the comment but is now in an awkward spot because they said it.
When parents are responsible for their own emotions and don’t blame others, including their children, for how they feel, it’s easier for teens to understand they are also responsible for their own feelings. It is impossible to teach your teen respect by displaying disrespect. Scolding, shouting, belittling, physical aggression, and humiliating, no matter how deserving of these your teen may seem at the moment, will only result in the same tactics being used against you in the future.
If you find it difficult to model respectful behaviours for your teen to pick up on, or if your teen is consistently disrespecting you, it may be time to consider professional help and possibly have your teen undergo a behavioural care program. You might also want to look into family therapy after that as well, to look into some of your own issues and the issues you all experience together under the same roof.
Ready To Learn More About Venture Academy’s Options for Teen Behavioural Care?
Needing help does not make you a bad parent; getting help when required makes you a great parent. If you’re looking for teen behavioural care in Canada, contact Venture Academy today. Reach out to our team online or call 866.762.2211.